Researchers sort emotional abuse into 6 buckets, and intensity/frequency matters more than one bad night [1][2].
Controlling / coercive control — anger, threats, fear, intimidation, restricting access to people/money [1]
Eroding self-worth — name-calling, put-downs, constant criticism, humiliation [1]
Manipulation — conditions for affection, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, limiting alternatives [1]
Straining resources — property damage, creating chaos [1]
Disregarding well-being — ignoring, neglecting needs [1]
Corrupting — pushing toward antisocial/illegal behavior [1]
Gottman & Jacobson found 4 severe forms: destruction of pets/property, sexual coercion, isolation, degradation — with degradation most common [2].
Modern scale work finds 4 factors: Severe Psychological Abuse, Coercive Emotional Abuse, Restrictive Isolating Abuse, Financial Abuse (20-item PARS model) [3].
Do I feel less of myself after most interactions?
Is affection conditional on compliance?
Am I more isolated than when this started?
Are threats (explicit or implied) how decisions get made?
Is repair attempted, or am I punished for bringing up harm?
If 3+ are yes with frequency, this is a pattern worth outside support — not a self-diagnosis moment.